Hey all! I just wrapped an interview with my lovely friend Jo, whom I met in Bali, for her online summit called Sharing Soulful Stories. It'll be out next month (I will gladly post links!) and I share basically my life story, so buckle up. Some of it I've never shared publicly before, and I trust the great Goddess of vulnerability will wrap me in her arms in gratitude for allowing myself to share it. Prepping for this interview had me journaling and reflecting on my early church going years, the greater mystery that unfolded after my divorce and miscarriage, and the pure magic of being present now in this life, rather than waiting for Sunday morning or a crisis or when I'm knocking on death's door. Spirituality to me means being embodied, reverent care for our own needs as a devotional … [Read more...]
Why I really went to Bali
Hello loves, Allow me to unfold, to unfurl. You're welcome to do the same, so get comfy. This is a tender little telling of my mothering journey. Thank you for being here. Bali rekindled power and magic within me that was lost when Fern was born (more writing on that to come in the future). I hold this photo near and dear to my heart because it reminds me of how important it is, and how soul-level nourishing it can be, to make space. To practice being fully present.To be able to hear our own inner voice amidst the noise.To be able to sense and feel ourselves, in a chaotic world. Can you find that for yourself right now?What helps you be fully present, alive, aware?It made me curious to hear so many interpretations of why I went to Bali. Most people assumed that I went … [Read more...]
Navigating the New and Different
Hello, sweet friends! I hope you're feeling grounded and getting your 2018 off to a strong, clear start. We just celebrated the New Moon, too, and I spent a few hours with a group of women, in circle, with candles around our altar as we shared what we need to shed and digest in order to move forward. It felt yummy and supportive, but also edgy as we each bravely spoke about our challenges and fears. I released (again and again a thousand times) the grief and anger I've felt through the initiation into motherhood. Hello, intensity. I shed any shame around the difficulty of the transition and early challenges in bonding with Fern. I let go of blaming my body for what didn't happen. I surrendered my expectations about control and being in command in exchange for getting … [Read more...]
EQ: The Many Faces of Fern
I've been studying her emotions as they rise and fall and shift instantaneously - doing her best to express her needs. She definitely has her own opinions already and her language is nonverbal, embodied. She's doing her best. Perhaps the emotional body is our first way of being embodied. Not yet in control of her limbs and locomoting, but fully in the present moment with her whims. Using sound, her eyes, her face. My emotional body, too, has risen to the surface through these past 2 months, and I ride the waves as they come. Sometimes gracefully, and other times being thrown overboard and pummeled into the ocean floor (metaphorically, although if you've felt that sensation of sand-in-your-everywheres and tumbling disorientation you know what I mean!) . . I keep studying myself, … [Read more...]
Resilience: Wisdom from Aaliyah
If at first you don't succeed...you can dust it off and try again. This song has been running in my head, and ironically I'm sitting down to write about resilience. Enjoy a little throwback while we continue... For the sake of transparency and for well...fun, I wanted to challenge myself to list a few of my failures. (Note: I noticed how it seemed my brain wasn't wired to think of most of these as failures, but milestones. It was a healthy ego exercise to bring myself back to the intensity of defeat - but what we focus on wires our brains with that patterning...so, do the reflection, and then flip the failure and examine how it has taught you or benefited you.) 2000 - I auditioned for the dance program, didn't get in. I was SO convinced they needed me in their program. And … [Read more...]
Birth and Rebirthing
It took me some time to feel like myself after the birth of this baby girl, to get to know her, and in reality - I've guarded these early hours and days for myself and for our new family of 3 to be together. I consciously did not make an announcement until now, 11 days later, allowing myself to rejoice and crumble and grieve and come up for air again and again. The process continues as I make her known to you today, and as we study each other for a lifetime. In birthing my daughter, I became a new mother, more deeply woman, and entered a new dynamic between my partner and I - it's all beautiful and necessary, often messy, and definitely worth it. Shape shifting. Magic. Please note that I'm not ready to publicly share details of the birthing process and the interventions that became … [Read more...]
Why We Practice: Grief, Crisis and Getting Your Ticket Back From Crazy Town
The New Year is up on us, and so many people begin the year thinking about their body. Their health. Setting fitness goals. The classic 'resolutions' to do things differently and be 'better'. In my yoga classes yesterday here in Irvine, CA I had a full house both slots - bigger classes than I've experienced in months and I spoke candidly about how I hoped I'd continue to see them all month - and al year. That these practices steep into our cells and minds over time, creating a new way of being in the world when we commit to the process and practice diligently. We all have different reasons why we start paying attention to our body and our health, and generally these are the kinds of things clients first express when I do their first session: "I want to feel better" "I know I … [Read more...]
Let’s talk about privilege. Yes, again.
I talk and think a lot about embodiment and embodied living. It's also my business, my livelihood. Sometimes this implies my privilege - that we 'get to' enhance our physical and mental emotional health, have all our needs (and dreams) met, explore philosophy and daily practices, and celebrate through the freedom of our voices and movement. We use movement practices to remember how to be who we are. There's been plenty of talk about privilege in our US news and culture over the past few years, and I hope it continues. At least, I hope that I can use mine for the greater good. At the root of all other forms of 'higher' embodiment is safety. Our right to be here. To have our basic needs met. Many people have been made to feel unsafe through comments, assault, violence, … [Read more...]